[This is an updated/edited post from my old blog. This is my personal experience and opinion.]
17 years ago today, I thought my life had literally ended. I watched my beloved daddy, his vitals dropping, slipping away from us, and then he was gone.
At each milestone of our lives (my family’s), I wished he was there to see us. For me personally, each time I stood on a stage performing, I wished so much that he was sitting in the front row, proud as ever, with his video-cam, recording so he could watch it over and over again at home (that’s really what he used to do!). When I got married, I wished both my parents walked me down the aisle. When Z was born, I imagined what daddy would have been like with him.
I’ve mentioned previously (in a post on my old blog) that grief sneaks up on you all the time, when you’re least aware, but with Christ in my life, I know I can cope. Even through blurring tears I can still stand up and say YES…GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH!
Please understand that I didn’t post this so that I could gain sympathy from you, my dear reader, I do know you care for me I posted this because many still assume that Christians must be happy all the time, or worse, assume that God will always change our situations when we pray, and therefore treat God as our personal genie in a lamp, bowing to our every whim to keep us happy. It is true that God can change the situation, and grant our desires etc. however, ultimately, our faith is not about that, our faith is about trusting in God and relying on Him alone, knowing that His love for us is true. His plans are never to harm us.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11
17 years…17 years of “un-change” in my situation. The years come and go, the milestones are reached and passed, the anniversaries continue to come up, I cry another load of tears and think back to the times when daddy was around. Yet, even in the darkest hours of my soul, I know I will get through, because my future, my hope, is in Christ This hope alone is enough for me to keep going, keep smiling, but God makes sure I have the added comfort of His presence, daily, so that even my “keep going” is powered by His grace and might.
And I look forward to the day when I will see daddy again, and thank God always, for giving us the faith to know this day WILL come.
I hope that this little post will be a small source of encouragement to anyone out there experiencing any form of pain. Our situations may or may not change, but thank God He (His character & qualities) NEVER changes. He’ll see you through!
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.